1 00:00:10,394 --> 00:00:13,163 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪ 2 00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:17,871 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪ 3 00:00:19,774 --> 00:00:22,510 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪ 4 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,149 ♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna cry ♪ 5 00:00:29,119 --> 00:00:31,788 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪ 6 00:00:33,892 --> 00:00:36,494 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪ 7 00:00:38,397 --> 00:00:41,133 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪ 8 00:00:43,136 --> 00:00:45,804 ♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna die ♪ 9 00:00:47,774 --> 00:00:49,775 ♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louie... ♪ 10 00:00:50,868 --> 00:00:52,738 I just think there's people that-- 11 00:00:52,858 --> 00:00:54,856 If your life, you know, 12 00:00:54,904 --> 00:00:56,327 if it's good enough, you should just shut up. 13 00:00:56,394 --> 00:00:57,995 There's just some people that complain when they don't-- 14 00:00:58,062 --> 00:00:58,974 they shouldn't. 15 00:00:59,094 --> 00:01:01,558 I have two kids and I think about them sometimes 16 00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:04,601 and that-- like, I got two little white girls in my house. 17 00:01:06,404 --> 00:01:07,805 That's a reality. 18 00:01:07,873 --> 00:01:09,281 These are two little white girls. 19 00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:12,110 On paper, they're doing awesome, 20 00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:15,179 just by who they are and where they are, 21 00:01:15,247 --> 00:01:18,250 so when they complain, it kinda drives me crazy, 22 00:01:18,318 --> 00:01:20,344 because I know what the world is like around them. 23 00:01:20,464 --> 00:01:21,963 They have no idea. 24 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,599 I gave my daughter medicine the other day. 25 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,000 She had a fever, so I gave her Tylenol 26 00:01:25,068 --> 00:01:27,469 and it's bubble-gum flavored, 27 00:01:27,537 --> 00:01:30,001 so that she'll take it. 28 00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:33,580 What kind of an upside-down society is this? 29 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,811 Oh, how are we gonna get these children 30 00:01:35,879 --> 00:01:39,214 to take these miracle drugs? 31 00:01:39,282 --> 00:01:41,216 We better add candy to it. 32 00:01:44,654 --> 00:01:45,921 I gave her the bubble-gum medicine, 33 00:01:45,988 --> 00:01:47,223 she goes, "Ew !" 34 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:50,326 I'm like, ( bleep ) you, ew! 35 00:01:50,394 --> 00:01:53,262 Are you shitting me? 36 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,498 That's medicine! 37 00:01:57,521 --> 00:02:00,171 Most kids in the world don't have medicine, 38 00:02:00,238 --> 00:02:02,182 they just don't have it. 39 00:02:02,302 --> 00:02:04,876 When they get sick, they just-- they die on a rock 40 00:02:04,943 --> 00:02:06,511 with a bear eating their face, 41 00:02:06,578 --> 00:02:09,661 that's how most of the world handles that. 42 00:02:15,655 --> 00:02:16,823 No, he's got a sniffle, 43 00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:19,025 ring the bear bell and put him outside. 44 00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:25,065 You're a white kid eating bubble-gum medicine. 45 00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:26,367 You're wearing clothes 46 00:02:26,434 --> 00:02:28,969 made by children your age, professionally. 47 00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:34,237 Sorry. 48 00:02:34,357 --> 00:02:38,046 Americans only buy things that come from suffering. 49 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,182 They just enjoy it more 50 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,117 when they know someone's getting hurt. 51 00:02:50,294 --> 00:02:51,728 Try in here? 52 00:02:54,665 --> 00:02:55,765 ( woman ) Hi. 53 00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:57,467 Trick or treat! Hi, trick or treat! 54 00:02:57,535 --> 00:02:59,903 Oh, my God, they're so cute! 55 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:00,804 What are you? 56 00:03:00,872 --> 00:03:02,272 I'm a fairy. 57 00:03:02,339 --> 00:03:04,907 Oh, nice, a fairy, have a candy, here. 58 00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:06,375 Thank you. 59 00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:08,110 And what are you? 60 00:03:08,178 --> 00:03:10,179 Frederick Douglass. 61 00:03:11,949 --> 00:03:14,317 She read a book about Frederick Douglass. 62 00:03:15,819 --> 00:03:17,286 Okay. 63 00:03:17,354 --> 00:03:19,222 Thanks, girls. 64 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:21,224 Bye! Bye, thank you ! Thank you, bye-bye. 65 00:03:25,696 --> 00:03:27,030 What are you doing? 66 00:03:27,097 --> 00:03:28,698 I'm just taking one, come one. 67 00:03:34,838 --> 00:03:36,539 Daddy, my beard itches. 68 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:37,707 Here you go. 69 00:03:39,243 --> 00:03:40,410 All right, go on in there. 70 00:03:40,477 --> 00:03:41,544 Trick or treat! 71 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,079 Trick or treat! 72 00:03:46,183 --> 00:03:47,417 Ugh... 73 00:03:47,484 --> 00:03:48,785 Guys, we gotta-- This is it. 74 00:03:48,852 --> 00:03:50,519 We're late and it's time to go home. 75 00:03:50,587 --> 00:03:52,288 Let's go home now, okay? Aw, come on, Daddy. 76 00:03:52,355 --> 00:03:54,056 Can we please stay out a little longer? 77 00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:56,125 I can't have you out here in the dark. 78 00:03:56,193 --> 00:03:58,528 But Mommy always lets us trick-or-treat after dark 79 00:03:58,596 --> 00:04:00,763 when it's her turn to have us on Halloween. 80 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,064 Jane, I know that's not true. 81 00:04:02,132 --> 00:04:03,566 No, it isn't. 82 00:04:05,402 --> 00:04:06,569 Daddy! 83 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:07,870 What? 84 00:04:07,938 --> 00:04:10,373 Can we please stay out a little longer? 85 00:04:12,409 --> 00:04:13,776 All right, let's hit a few more stores. 86 00:04:13,844 --> 00:04:15,144 Yay! Yay! 87 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:16,445 Yes! All right, come on. 88 00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:17,646 Crazy. 89 00:04:22,552 --> 00:04:24,419 Daddy, these people are scary. 90 00:04:24,487 --> 00:04:26,688 Baby, they're just costumes, let's just get home. 91 00:04:26,756 --> 00:04:27,822 We'll be okay. 92 00:04:29,858 --> 00:04:32,893 ( laughing maniacally ) ( screaming ) 93 00:04:32,961 --> 00:04:35,396 Jesus, thanks a lot, you asshole! 94 00:04:35,463 --> 00:04:37,464 Girls, girls, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 95 00:04:37,532 --> 00:04:38,698 It's okay. 96 00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:40,834 Listen, girls, let's just get home. 97 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,435 None of this is real, you understand? 98 00:04:42,503 --> 00:04:44,070 None of it's real. 99 00:04:44,138 --> 00:04:45,973 Let's get home and brush all that sugar out of your teeth. 100 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,374 Come on, come on. 101 00:04:47,442 --> 00:04:48,375 Let's go. 102 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,345 You know, someday you girls are probably 103 00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:53,781 gonna dress in scary costumes. 104 00:04:53,849 --> 00:04:56,284 You know, when you're teenagers. 105 00:04:56,352 --> 00:04:58,653 It's-- it's like scary movies. 106 00:04:58,721 --> 00:05:00,589 People like to scare each other. 107 00:05:00,657 --> 00:05:02,024 Yeah, exactly. It's just fun. 108 00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:04,894 It's just fun, baby, that's right. 109 00:05:04,961 --> 00:05:07,596 Halloween. Right. 110 00:05:07,664 --> 00:05:09,164 ( man laughing ) 111 00:05:09,232 --> 00:05:10,866 Daddy? 112 00:05:12,469 --> 00:05:14,003 It's okay, don't worry about it. 113 00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:15,738 ( man ) Hi. 114 00:05:15,806 --> 00:05:17,973 Daddy, why are we walking faster? 115 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:19,307 ( man ) Hi! Just, let's go. 116 00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:21,543 It's all right. It's okay. 117 00:05:21,611 --> 00:05:24,446 ( man ) What's wrong, Daddy? 118 00:05:24,513 --> 00:05:25,914 ( Lilly ) It's just pre... 119 00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:47,203 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 120 00:05:47,271 --> 00:05:48,605 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 121 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,608 I think we lost 'em. 122 00:05:51,675 --> 00:05:54,044 I think we lost 'em. 123 00:05:54,111 --> 00:05:56,312 It's okay, come on. 124 00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:58,280 We'll go to bed, we'll be fine. 125 00:05:58,348 --> 00:06:00,115 ( girls screaming ) 126 00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,049 Jesus. 127 00:06:01,117 --> 00:06:02,451 ( girls screaming ) 128 00:06:02,518 --> 00:06:03,718 ( man laughing ) 129 00:06:03,786 --> 00:06:05,887 We came around the corner and scared you. 130 00:06:05,955 --> 00:06:07,890 We scared you. 131 00:06:07,957 --> 00:06:09,992 Daddy, this isn't pretend. 132 00:06:10,059 --> 00:06:11,693 This is scary. 133 00:06:11,761 --> 00:06:12,794 Oh, no, no, no, it is pretend. 134 00:06:12,862 --> 00:06:13,929 These guys are pretending. 135 00:06:13,997 --> 00:06:15,931 We are? 136 00:06:15,998 --> 00:06:17,432 Yeah, you-- you-- 137 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:19,334 They're pretending and they're gonna let us go, right? 138 00:06:19,402 --> 00:06:20,702 They're just gonna let us go. 139 00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:22,871 We're gonna let you go? 140 00:06:22,939 --> 00:06:23,839 Let you go? 141 00:06:23,907 --> 00:06:25,841 Well, what if we don't wanna? 142 00:06:25,909 --> 00:06:28,677 Yeah, what if we don't-- what if we don't wanna? 143 00:06:28,744 --> 00:06:31,412 What are you gonna do, Daddy? 144 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,714 Oh, girls, your daddy is brave. 145 00:06:33,782 --> 00:06:35,816 He is brave. 146 00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:38,185 He doesn't want to show it, but he's scared inside. 147 00:06:38,253 --> 00:06:42,489 He's-- he's frozen, like-- he's frozen like a lollipop. 148 00:06:42,556 --> 00:06:44,124 Come on, man, you don't wanna-- He's frozen. 149 00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:45,391 You don't wanna hurt these kids. 150 00:06:45,459 --> 00:06:46,459 You guys are better than that, right? 151 00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:47,894 I mean, you-- Oh, no, no-- 152 00:06:47,962 --> 00:06:49,029 These are two little girls, you know? 153 00:06:49,097 --> 00:06:50,864 I don't-- I don't want to hurt any kids, 154 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:55,436 you're right, I don't, but-- but Giant here, he's... 155 00:06:56,939 --> 00:06:58,306 He's scary. 156 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:03,512 ( crying ) 157 00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:06,748 I think I'm about to do something bad. 158 00:07:06,816 --> 00:07:08,684 I think I'm about to do something real bad 159 00:07:08,751 --> 00:07:11,586 to these people. 160 00:07:11,654 --> 00:07:14,890 Hey, stop it! 161 00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:18,260 Being scary is not nice! 162 00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:20,762 Halloween's for fun! 163 00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:22,030 You're supposed to have a nice time, 164 00:07:22,098 --> 00:07:23,966 dress up and get candy! 165 00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:25,592 It's not nice to scare people. 166 00:07:25,968 --> 00:07:28,871 ( Jane ) And you shouldn't scare my daddy, either! 167 00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:32,275 Stop it right now! 168 00:07:32,343 --> 00:07:34,277 Girls, go over there. 169 00:07:34,345 --> 00:07:35,345 ( Lilly ) Daddy, don't! 170 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:36,880 Daddy, don't! 171 00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:46,022 ( alarm blaring ) 172 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,295 You okay? 173 00:07:52,363 --> 00:07:53,563 What do we do now? 174 00:07:53,631 --> 00:07:55,665 We're gonna wait for the police to come, 175 00:07:55,733 --> 00:07:57,967 we're gonna tell them what happened 176 00:07:58,035 --> 00:08:00,837 and we're gonna pay for the window. 177 00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:04,007 Whoa, Daddy, how did you know to do that? 178 00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:10,412 You were very brave. 179 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,314 I'm happy you're good, too. 180 00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:24,926 It's okay. 181 00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:26,060 It's all right. Daddy. 182 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,295 It's all right. 183 00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:34,385 ( all talking ) 184 00:08:41,393 --> 00:08:42,694 Hey, hey, everybody? 185 00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,163 Everyone? 186 00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:45,698 Hi. 187 00:08:45,766 --> 00:08:47,567 Hey there. 188 00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,536 I want to thank all of you for being here 189 00:08:50,604 --> 00:08:54,174 for the round-table rewrite of "Out of Here." 190 00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:56,476 I'm Eddie Faye and I wrote the script. 191 00:08:56,544 --> 00:08:59,213 This is Jordan, who's directing. 192 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,415 We start principal photog in about two weeks 193 00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:05,418 and we're basically here to try to inject some funny 194 00:09:05,486 --> 00:09:07,086 back into the script, 195 00:09:07,154 --> 00:09:10,422 which was sapped out by all the notes and story fixes. 196 00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:11,957 You're all here 197 00:09:12,025 --> 00:09:14,160 because you're funny and you were all willing to work 198 00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:16,162 for the favored nation's 5,000 each 199 00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:18,131 plus croissants and jelly. 200 00:09:18,199 --> 00:09:19,866 Okay, page one. 201 00:09:23,705 --> 00:09:25,739 "Interior: bedroom; morning. 202 00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:29,477 "Angle on alarm clock, it reads 6:59 a.m. 203 00:09:29,544 --> 00:09:31,746 "It changes to 7:00 and the alarm goes off. 204 00:09:31,814 --> 00:09:33,781 "It's a loud, annoying buzz. 205 00:09:33,849 --> 00:09:35,183 "A hand appears from offscreen 206 00:09:35,251 --> 00:09:37,686 "and fumbles to slap down on the snooze bar, 207 00:09:37,753 --> 00:09:40,689 "we follow up the arm and land on its owner, Mike Bradsky, 208 00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:43,726 "a cop in his 30s. 209 00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:47,396 "Mike: 'Ugh, not another one of these.' 210 00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,864 "As Mike rolls over on his side to go back to sleep, 211 00:09:49,932 --> 00:09:52,801 "his dog comes over and starts licking his face. 212 00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:55,270 Mike: 'Come on, boy, give me a break.'" 213 00:09:57,239 --> 00:09:59,941 All right, anybody got anything for page one? 214 00:10:00,008 --> 00:10:01,709 I had instead of "not another one of these," 215 00:10:01,776 --> 00:10:03,878 something like, "39 years of shitty days, 216 00:10:03,945 --> 00:10:05,246 22 years to go." 217 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,380 ( group chuckling ) 218 00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,614 That's pretty good. 219 00:10:07,682 --> 00:10:09,283 What if he says, like, what are-- 220 00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:10,651 You know, when his dog's licking his face, 221 00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:12,453 what if he says something like, "Come on, you mutt"? 222 00:10:15,624 --> 00:10:19,293 Or he's like, "What do I look like, a Gaines-Burger ?" 223 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,098 All right, um-- 224 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,100 Do we really need another movie 225 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,002 with the alarm clock close-up 226 00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:29,670 and the dog's licking the guy-- 227 00:10:29,738 --> 00:10:31,839 I mean, come on, everybody. 228 00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:34,575 This is like every bad cop movie I've ever seen. 229 00:10:34,643 --> 00:10:36,410 It's just lazy. 230 00:10:36,478 --> 00:10:37,578 Thank you. 231 00:10:37,646 --> 00:10:39,713 Thank you for the teardown, Evan. 232 00:10:39,781 --> 00:10:41,949 But folks are here so they can add ideas, 233 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,984 so you got a better way to start? 234 00:10:44,051 --> 00:10:45,519 Not really. 235 00:10:45,586 --> 00:10:47,820 Just saying it's lame. 236 00:10:47,888 --> 00:10:48,821 ( Eddie ) Okay. 237 00:10:48,889 --> 00:10:50,523 Page two. 238 00:10:50,590 --> 00:10:52,758 What if the dog stops the alarm? 239 00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:56,128 That's not bad. 240 00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,098 How does he wake up? 241 00:11:00,835 --> 00:11:04,171 I don't know, maybe he doesn't. 242 00:11:04,239 --> 00:11:07,509 I mean, like, if you see the dog's paw 243 00:11:07,577 --> 00:11:09,378 hits the alarm clock 244 00:11:09,446 --> 00:11:13,049 and then-- then you see his face and he's sleeping. 245 00:11:13,116 --> 00:11:15,985 And then you go back to the clock and then time goes by 246 00:11:16,053 --> 00:11:17,620 and it's now like 11:00, 247 00:11:17,688 --> 00:11:20,557 and then the guy wakes up and smiling, 248 00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,058 'cause he has no idea how late it is. 249 00:11:22,126 --> 00:11:23,526 That's funny. 250 00:11:23,594 --> 00:11:26,029 He's like, why do I feel so good? 251 00:11:26,097 --> 00:11:28,031 Then he realizes what time it is, he screams, 252 00:11:28,098 --> 00:11:30,500 he jumps out of bed, except he forgets he sleeps in a loft bed 253 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:31,667 and he falls down the stairs. 254 00:11:31,735 --> 00:11:32,936 ( all laughing ) 255 00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:34,270 Yeah, yeah, now, maybe this is too much, 256 00:11:34,338 --> 00:11:36,139 but at the bottom of the stairs, 257 00:11:36,207 --> 00:11:38,008 maybe he's knocked out cold, right? 258 00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:40,644 And he lays there sleeping even longer. 259 00:11:40,712 --> 00:11:43,081 Maybe that's where the dog licks his face. 260 00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:45,784 And now he wakes up again and he's even later. 261 00:11:45,851 --> 00:11:48,721 We could do, like, an action montage 262 00:11:48,789 --> 00:11:52,091 of him rushing to the station, he puts on siren, 263 00:11:52,159 --> 00:11:55,094 you know, big chase, chase, chase, chase, chase. 264 00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:57,663 People run out of way because he's late for work, maybe. 265 00:11:57,731 --> 00:11:59,899 What if, like, he's in his car, right? 266 00:11:59,966 --> 00:12:02,501 And he drives into a truck or whatever, and he's like, 267 00:12:02,569 --> 00:12:04,236 "I'm getting too old for this shit." 268 00:12:04,304 --> 00:12:06,071 You've got to be kidding me. 269 00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:08,439 Not like-- not we're, like, we're actually saying that line, 270 00:12:08,507 --> 00:12:10,508 it's like a joke on the fact that we're using-- 271 00:12:10,576 --> 00:12:12,476 it's like we're making fun of the fact of how lame it is. 272 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:13,945 You could keep bringing this dog back 273 00:12:14,012 --> 00:12:15,546 and the dog could keep screwing up this guy's life 274 00:12:15,614 --> 00:12:17,215 and he's not even aware of it. 275 00:12:19,952 --> 00:12:21,220 That's funny. 276 00:12:21,287 --> 00:12:22,855 But it changes our whole opening. 277 00:12:22,923 --> 00:12:24,190 I mean, that's a lot to produce. 278 00:12:24,257 --> 00:12:26,058 Go ahead and write it, Eddie. 279 00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:29,062 We'll find the money. 280 00:12:29,129 --> 00:12:31,497 Okay. 281 00:12:31,565 --> 00:12:34,701 So... 282 00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:36,402 what happens after he wakes up? 283 00:12:43,242 --> 00:12:44,309 So do you have, like, a method 284 00:12:44,376 --> 00:12:45,410 for coming up with a good joke? 285 00:12:45,477 --> 00:12:46,244 I don't know what to tell you, kid, 286 00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:48,079 I let the jokes come to me. 287 00:12:48,146 --> 00:12:50,080 Hey, man, nice job. Hey, thank you. 288 00:12:50,148 --> 00:12:51,382 Thanks. 289 00:12:51,449 --> 00:12:53,050 Good work. Thank you. 290 00:12:53,118 --> 00:12:54,451 Funny stuff, guy. 291 00:12:54,519 --> 00:12:56,287 Thanks, thanks. 292 00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,989 Hi, I'm Ellie. 293 00:12:58,056 --> 00:12:59,256 Hi, I'm Louie. 294 00:12:59,324 --> 00:13:00,992 You're a comedian. 295 00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:02,327 Yeah. 296 00:13:02,395 --> 00:13:04,629 Can I buy you lunch? You know what? 297 00:13:04,697 --> 00:13:05,864 I gotta pick up my kids at school, 298 00:13:05,932 --> 00:13:07,266 so it's not the best time, but-- 299 00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:08,434 Well, get a sitter. 300 00:13:08,502 --> 00:13:10,203 This is your future, honey. 301 00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:11,537 Hey, Ellie. 302 00:13:11,605 --> 00:13:12,571 What's up? 303 00:13:12,639 --> 00:13:14,340 Did you read my script? 304 00:13:14,408 --> 00:13:15,374 No, of course not. 305 00:13:15,442 --> 00:13:17,709 It's only your job! 306 00:13:17,777 --> 00:13:19,411 Let's go. 307 00:13:19,478 --> 00:13:20,811 Okay. 308 00:13:28,761 --> 00:13:30,586 Hi, Ms. Bormer. Hey, Harry. 309 00:13:30,706 --> 00:13:32,599 Lunch for two? Yeah. 310 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,642 So first of all, do you know who I am? 311 00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:45,310 Uh, no, not really. 312 00:13:45,378 --> 00:13:48,488 I mean, your name is Ellie and you're a producer or-- 313 00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:51,683 I'm a vice president at Paramount Pictures. 314 00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,284 Oh. Yeah. 315 00:13:53,352 --> 00:13:55,152 I have a discretionary budget and I can green-light. 316 00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,755 Do you know what that means? 317 00:13:58,625 --> 00:13:59,925 Yes, I-- 318 00:13:59,993 --> 00:14:02,127 Are you interested in making movies? 319 00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:05,432 Yes. Yes? 320 00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:08,768 Uh, yes, I-- I am. 321 00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:10,003 Okay. 322 00:14:10,071 --> 00:14:12,606 Let's get started. 323 00:14:12,674 --> 00:14:13,674 Okay. 324 00:14:13,742 --> 00:14:16,978 Listen, I am a person... 325 00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:19,980 who knows when someone can do things. 326 00:14:20,048 --> 00:14:22,483 I know talent when I see it 327 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:25,420 and I need you to know that when I find someone, 328 00:14:25,488 --> 00:14:27,422 I don't mess around. 329 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:30,593 Louie... are you ready? 330 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,328 Because after today, 331 00:14:32,429 --> 00:14:34,163 nothing is going to ever be the same again. 332 00:14:39,903 --> 00:14:43,438 I bet you've got 50 movie ideas sitting in that brain. 333 00:14:43,506 --> 00:14:44,906 Yeah, I have ideas. 334 00:14:44,974 --> 00:14:46,975 Let's make all of them. 335 00:14:47,043 --> 00:14:48,176 Okay. 336 00:14:48,244 --> 00:14:51,313 Tell me the best one now. 337 00:14:51,381 --> 00:14:53,248 Yeah? 338 00:14:53,316 --> 00:14:55,483 All right, well... 339 00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:57,552 well, you know how movies, there's always a guy 340 00:14:57,620 --> 00:15:00,055 and his life is, you know, okay? 341 00:15:00,122 --> 00:15:01,790 And then something happens, 342 00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:04,793 like a conflict and he has to resolve it, 343 00:15:04,861 --> 00:15:06,595 and then his life gets better? 344 00:15:06,663 --> 00:15:08,564 Well, I always wanted to make a movie 345 00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:11,066 where a guy's life is really bad 346 00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:13,669 and then something happens and it makes it worse 347 00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:17,272 but instead of resolving it, he just makes bad choices 348 00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:20,676 and then it goes from worse to really bad, 349 00:15:20,743 --> 00:15:22,612 and-- and things just keep happening to him 350 00:15:22,679 --> 00:15:24,513 and he keeps doing dumb things, 351 00:15:24,581 --> 00:15:26,481 so his life just gets worse and worse 352 00:15:26,549 --> 00:15:28,183 and, like, darker and-- 353 00:15:28,251 --> 00:15:31,520 Like-- like he has-- lives in a little one-room apartment, 354 00:15:31,588 --> 00:15:33,990 he's not a very good-looking guy, 355 00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:36,693 he has no friends and he lives-- 356 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,195 he works in, like, a factory, where they-- 357 00:15:39,263 --> 00:15:42,599 like a sewage-disposal plant, 358 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,268 and then he gets fired, 359 00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:47,338 so now he doesn't even have his job at the shit factory anymore 360 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:48,939 and he's-- and he's going broke 361 00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:51,676 and he takes, like, a trip and it rains, 362 00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:55,013 like, just stuff, just shit keeps-- horrible. 363 00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,548 But then he meets a girl 364 00:15:56,616 --> 00:15:58,484 and she's beautiful and he falls in love, 365 00:15:58,552 --> 00:16:00,853 so you think that's gonna be the thing, the happy thing, 366 00:16:00,921 --> 00:16:04,257 but then she turns out to be a crook and she robs him, 367 00:16:04,324 --> 00:16:05,959 she takes his wallet, 368 00:16:06,026 --> 00:16:07,794 and now he's, like, stuck in the middle of nowhere 369 00:16:07,862 --> 00:16:09,630 and he's got no wallet and no credit cards. 370 00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:10,831 Like what do you do? 371 00:16:10,898 --> 00:16:12,399 How do you even get home or-- 372 00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:14,968 Doesn't he have a cell phone? 373 00:16:15,036 --> 00:16:17,204 Well... 374 00:16:17,271 --> 00:16:18,405 Yeah, I mean, I came up with this before 375 00:16:18,472 --> 00:16:20,173 cell phones were really-- 376 00:16:20,241 --> 00:16:22,575 You know what, Louie, this is amazing. 377 00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:24,610 I just-- I just need to go say hello to some people 378 00:16:24,678 --> 00:16:26,812 who just walked in. 379 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,413 Give me a second, okay, hon? 380 00:16:28,481 --> 00:16:29,748 Okay. 381 00:16:29,816 --> 00:16:30,849 Oh. 382 00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:53,638 When I was-- when I graduated high school, 383 00:16:53,706 --> 00:16:56,941 all my friends went to college and I didn't. 384 00:16:57,009 --> 00:16:58,877 I was a very bad student and there was-- 385 00:16:58,945 --> 00:17:00,278 No, I could have got into some college, 386 00:17:00,346 --> 00:17:03,249 but why keep failing? 387 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,618 Why just keep being in trouble all the time 388 00:17:05,685 --> 00:17:07,086 and doing things badly? 389 00:17:07,154 --> 00:17:09,455 So I just figured, I'll just go work and do things. 390 00:17:09,522 --> 00:17:12,758 So... I moved in with my only friend, 391 00:17:12,826 --> 00:17:14,259 who I wasn't very good friends with, 392 00:17:14,327 --> 00:17:15,761 but he also didn't go to college, 393 00:17:15,828 --> 00:17:18,130 so we got an apartment in Boston, 394 00:17:18,198 --> 00:17:20,232 and so we're both 18 years old 395 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,967 living in downtown Boston 396 00:17:22,035 --> 00:17:25,737 and we lived in one room, we slept in the same room, 397 00:17:25,805 --> 00:17:27,406 this little tiny studio apartment, 398 00:17:27,474 --> 00:17:30,943 and so one time, he started making jokes about jerking off. 399 00:17:31,011 --> 00:17:32,979 He's like, "Do you jerk off a lot, y'know? 400 00:17:33,047 --> 00:17:34,882 Do you want me to leave the room so you can jerk off ?" 401 00:17:34,949 --> 00:17:36,583 Like, he kept saying that. 402 00:17:36,651 --> 00:17:39,620 "Hey, man, if you need me to leave so you can jerk off, 403 00:17:39,688 --> 00:17:41,255 I'll do that," or whatever. 404 00:17:41,323 --> 00:17:44,292 And I was like, "Well, hey, what about when you would jerk off ?" 405 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,461 And he goes, "I don't-- I don't do that." 406 00:17:46,529 --> 00:17:47,796 And I was like, "What ?" 407 00:17:47,864 --> 00:17:49,932 And he goes, "I never have done it." 408 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:50,967 And I was like, "Are you serious ?" 409 00:17:51,034 --> 00:17:52,501 I was blown away by this. 410 00:17:52,569 --> 00:17:53,736 He said, "I've never done it." 411 00:17:53,804 --> 00:17:55,104 He's goes, "I kinda wish I could, 412 00:17:55,172 --> 00:17:57,439 "but I just can't bring myself to do it. 413 00:17:57,507 --> 00:17:59,041 "It's just too weird, like, I get weirded out. 414 00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:00,810 I've never done it." 415 00:18:00,877 --> 00:18:02,078 And I was like, "Really ?" 416 00:18:02,145 --> 00:18:03,279 And he said, "Yeah, I never jerked off." 417 00:18:03,346 --> 00:18:05,481 And he told me that, and I-- 418 00:18:05,549 --> 00:18:07,617 That stuck in me for years 419 00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:10,586 because I thought, there's folks that cannot do it, 420 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,921 because, to me, this shit is just a plague. 421 00:18:12,989 --> 00:18:15,524 I'll never escape this shit. 422 00:18:15,591 --> 00:18:17,626 There's moments I've done this 423 00:18:17,693 --> 00:18:20,028 that I really would like to take back, 424 00:18:20,095 --> 00:18:21,529 but I had-- it's just, you know-- 425 00:18:21,597 --> 00:18:23,931 Sometimes, I'm all packed, ready, I got bags-- 426 00:18:23,999 --> 00:18:25,833 And I go, "Uh, I gotta sit down and jerk off 427 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,200 before I leave the house." 428 00:18:27,268 --> 00:18:31,004 There's-- it's just a constant... 429 00:18:31,071 --> 00:18:33,773 insulin injection that I need to get. 430 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,074 And I really hate it. 431 00:18:35,142 --> 00:18:38,177 I'd love to never have to jerk off, and this-- 432 00:18:38,245 --> 00:18:41,548 And I've always thought, I'm-- there's something wrong with me, 433 00:18:41,616 --> 00:18:45,085 'cause there is a dude who was pretty normal 434 00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:48,122 who just said, "I don't do it." 435 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:50,224 Anyway, I ran into him about two years ago, 436 00:18:50,292 --> 00:18:51,726 and he said to me, 437 00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:53,628 "Remember when I-- when we talked about jerking off ?" 438 00:18:53,696 --> 00:18:55,731 And I said, "Yes !" 439 00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:58,333 And... he said, 440 00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:00,102 "I don't know why I was, like, ashamed to 441 00:19:00,169 --> 00:19:03,538 talk about it with you, but I was jerking off constantly." 442 00:19:03,606 --> 00:19:06,474 He said, "I've been jerking off since I was 11 443 00:19:06,542 --> 00:19:08,076 "and when we lived together, 444 00:19:08,144 --> 00:19:09,744 "I used to go in the bathroom and jack off all the time 445 00:19:09,812 --> 00:19:12,280 and I was afraid to tell you." 446 00:19:12,348 --> 00:19:13,915 And I was like, if I could-- 447 00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:17,118 if I could murder one person, it would be you. 448 00:19:17,186 --> 00:19:18,620 If I could kill one guy, 449 00:19:18,687 --> 00:19:20,391 it would be you, you piece of shit! 450 00:19:24,717 --> 00:19:28,840 When I was about six years old, maybe, 451 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,589 I stayed home from school one day. 452 00:19:30,656 --> 00:19:33,225 I had a single mom and she worked, 453 00:19:33,292 --> 00:19:34,493 so when I stayed home from school, 454 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,494 I just got to be alone in my house, 455 00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:38,630 and so one day I was alone in my house watching TV-- 456 00:19:38,697 --> 00:19:41,232 I think I was about six years old, maybe seven, 457 00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:44,969 and I went and got my pillow from my bed and I sat on it 458 00:19:45,036 --> 00:19:48,471 and I farted into it, and then I decided-- 459 00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:49,939 I was sick in my stomach, 460 00:19:50,007 --> 00:19:52,508 so I was like, I'm just gonna fart into this pillow 461 00:19:52,576 --> 00:19:54,143 for as-- just all day. 462 00:19:54,211 --> 00:19:57,246 I mean, I just kt farting into that pillow, 463 00:19:57,314 --> 00:19:59,182 just over and over again, 464 00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:03,153 like, at least more than 200 times, 465 00:20:03,221 --> 00:20:05,990 just for hours, 466 00:20:06,057 --> 00:20:09,493 and then I told myself, I'm gonna smell this now 467 00:20:09,561 --> 00:20:12,964 because I've been farting into it all day. 468 00:20:13,032 --> 00:20:15,166 And I just-- I had the pillow and I just said, 469 00:20:15,234 --> 00:20:17,435 I'm just gonna go all at once 470 00:20:17,502 --> 00:20:19,036 and I just shoved it in my face and I went-- 471 00:20:19,104 --> 00:20:20,571 ( snarling ) 472 00:20:20,639 --> 00:20:22,906 And... 473 00:20:22,974 --> 00:20:25,508 I have never had an experience 474 00:20:25,576 --> 00:20:27,177 like that again in my life. 475 00:20:27,244 --> 00:20:30,146 I really feel like I overstimulated myself 476 00:20:30,213 --> 00:20:33,716 at six years old because it, like, jaded me for 477 00:20:33,783 --> 00:20:35,751 every other thing that's ever happened. 478 00:20:38,088 --> 00:20:41,758 I watched a bum eat a rat 479 00:20:41,826 --> 00:20:44,093 and I was like, "So... 480 00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:46,763 I smelled 200 farts when I was six." 481 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:56,969